Everyone acts according to a different set and sequence of events in their heads. A husband who is surprised that his wife asks for a divorce, packs up, and leaves, isn't aware that she's been tolerating his antics for years.
For him, every time she complains about his behavour, he does damage control to fix it, and when she calms down, he's happy to go back to status quo.
For her, she sees a repeating pattern of disappointment, where she has to constantly nag him into form.
He sees a series of unrelated events.
She sees an accumulation of injustices that require only one more straw to break the camel's back.
A separation like this is nonviolent. But when, in the eye of the beholder, a global series of violent injustices accumulate in someone's mind as related incidents, this is when it is suddenly surprising to everyone that someone picks up a knife, a gun or a bomb, and proceeds to punish the perceived source of injustice.
Surprising, because in our minds, the act was not called for. Because, in our minds, we don't see what has accumulated in theirs.
Human beings are such fragile creatures.
I pray we become stronger.